Letting people in

Hi.

It has been a year.

Recently, I have been also letting some men into my life.

But I will learn from our mistake and I am taking it slow.

Thank you for helping me become this girl...the woman...that I am today.

We'll see where things go. I am taking my time and these are great people just like how you were.

Everyone deserves the best for them.

I am asking for God's help everyday.

I hope you find what you were looking for. :)

I am so grateful for this year. My heart is going to explode from all the love that I have been receiving all around. And so this song is for everyone who reached out, I am finally letting you in. Here's to a new adventure!

Today, I am truly letting you go

It is a great gift for both of us. It is a very bitter pill to swallow, but I know this is God's will. This is the right thing to do. Be free and know that you are always loved.

Another song in the playlist

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold,

But something 'bout it felt like home somehow.

And I left my scarf there at your sister's house,

And you still got it in your drawer even now.

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze.

We're singing in the car, getting lost Upstate.

Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place,

And I can picture it after all these days.

And I know it's long gone,

And that magic's not here no more,

And I might be okay,

But I'm not fine at all.

'Cause there we are again on that little town street.

You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over me.

Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red.

You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed

And your mother's telling stories about you on a tee ball team

You tell me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me.

And I know it's long gone

And there was nothing else I could do

And I forget about you long enough

To forget why I needed to...

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night.

We dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light

Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah.

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much,

And maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up.

Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise.

So casually cruel in the name of being honest.

I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here

'Cause I remember it all, all, all... too well.

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own

Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week

'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me

You can't get rid of it 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all

Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

Just when I thought I was over you (insert other cheesy love song lyrics here)>

God,
I honestly thought that I was okay already.  It turns out I'm holding in all the pain. Masking it with nights out with friends, fun stuff and makeovers. But I'm really dead and cold inside. Frozen, like Elsa. Hah!

I just want to feel again.

Just a little bit

...konti nalang.

"Today God wants me to know...God is there for you to hold on."

I'm letting everything go, and I'll just be holding on to You.

No more waiting.

Status update

I'm somewhere in between denying that I miss you

and hoping to find new love just like Katy Perry.

Slowly defrosting my heart.

"Take care, take care to never close your heart to anyone." - St. Peter Faber

+ Leng

Letting go is just the first step

But I love how we discover how strong we are in the process.  I love how fierce and beautiful one can become like Elsa in the movie Frozen (THE MOVIE IS PERFECT).

Now give me this chance to just highlight the fierceness and the empowering qualities of this song hahahaha:

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation, and it looks like I'm the Queen
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in; Heaven knows I've tried

Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well now they know

Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back any more
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care
What they're going to say
Let the storm rage on, the cold never bothered me anyway 

It's funny how some distanceMakes everything seem smallAnd the fears that once controlled me
Can't get to me at all 

It's time to see what I can doTo test the limits and break throughNo right, no wrong, no rules for meI'm free 

Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go 

You'll never see me cryHere I stand
And here I stay
Let the storm rage on 

My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystalizes like an icy blast
I'm never going back,The past is in the past 

Let it go, let it go
When I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand in the light of day
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway.

*SLOW CLAP*

This is so great and empowering, and I'd love to say this to your face.  But yes, I know that in the end it should still be love that prevails, not hatred, anger, or fear :)