A Blog Entry

You wake up in the morning with burning chest pains then you realize that it was just because you were sleeping face down. You dreamed of some guy you know getting intimate with you and it freaks you out, nevertheless, you wanted to sleep again so you know how the dream ends but you check your phone instead and deleted messages because the inbox is full and you were hoping someone would text you but no one did so you sleep again even though you know you've overslept already but then again you're not sure what time you were able to sleep because you find it hard to sleep at night these days. So you sleep again and enter your dream once more then you realize that you're now the one manipulating your dream because you've come conscious of it already and it freaks you out all the more. This is not a common scenario nowadays because everyone is at school but you, on the other hand, are at home because of damn chicken pox. You know what it's time for? It's time to write a blog entry.

You finally dragged yourself out of bed and turned on the computer to check for emails and IM messages that would never come maybe because of a fluctuating internet connection or probably they just don't like to reply/talk to you right now. Yeah, they're cool like that. You check the dining table to see what's for breakfast but you see a couple of sliced fish obviously cooked in cold oil and you wished you woke up earlier to cook it yourself. So you just turned on the water dispenser for hot water to make yourself some cereal drink instead. You know what it's time for? It's time to write a blog entry.

You decided to finish reading your assigned readings for school and while doing so, you were also downloading more episodes of Modern Family. You have not read the readings yet, you just decided to finish reading them. You really want to and but then you're distracted by almost everything in the world. You only get to assume things because you have no one to talk to because everyone is busy at school or at work. You know what it's time for? It's time to write a blog entry. Oh wait, I just did.

I'm Emo

For me, every feeling is just magnified to a thousand times.

EMO GIRL EWIE

I want to climb mountains.

I want to come to a day when I won't have to scavenge for decent food in our home.

I want to have fun.

I want to learn.

I want to build.

I want rain.

I want kisses in the rain.

I want to be physically strong.

I want to be a good public speaker.

I want to have my own craft-papemelroti-like store.

I want to have clothes which I won't have to worry about looking pretty in because they're already pretty.

I want to be rich.

I want to have a life lived.

I want to give back.

I want to change the world.

I want to organize things.

I want cold weather.

I want hugs.

I want kids and I want love them to death.

I want my family not to think that I'm always being righteous when I suggest things.

I want to communicate.

I want.

...

I will.

I set my clocks early cause I know I'm always late

Do you know that feeling you get whenever you hear a song from several years back? A song or a couple of songs which reminds you of a ton of things: the nice feeling you get the moment you wake up, the warm feeling you get despite the cold weather and the feeling that you're floating amidst darkness but still feeling comfortable at the same time. I know the feeling very well. It makes me so relaxed. It makes me cry (the good kind). These are nice feelings resulting from the things I experienced several years ago but it is amazing that these feelings and these songs can still be associated with the things that I am currently experiencing. It makes me wonder. What if these kind of feelings were always there, floating around, captured by a song? I love how a song can make you remember things your own mind can't remember alone, you can see details vividly, a smile, a conversation, a house made of carton, a shell, a sad cartoon, a red boombox, a boy band, even a daydream. :)

(You always make me feel this way ;))

Buti nalang may ganito, kasi mamatay ata ako sa dami ng kailangang gawin. At ilang lamok na ang kumakagat sakin.

SEMBREAK!

It's that time of the year again...my favorite break second to the Christmas break. Here is where I get to do the things I like doing. WAHOOO. Just like the past sembreaks, this one is about doing household chores, new interests, reading books, playing PlayFirst and Big Fish games and games I can play with the VBA and other emulators, geeky time, watching funny youtube videos, catching up on TV shows, catching up with my high school friends, going out with other friends, having family gatherings, going out of town, sleeping more than 8 hours a day, internet-ing, music-ing (haha), etc.

Although this time, I'd be doing more of fixing up our house because of the recent tropical storm that struck the country, aside from this, there are also new things like reviewing for the National Medical Admission Test (NMAT) and of course my favorite, spending time with the bad boy :)

+ Leng

"They say that good things take time...

...but really great things happen in a blink of an eye."

It makes me laugh reading my last entries and how my life has changed since then.

You never really know what's coming for you. :)

Thank you :)

iTunes effin reads minds

What a way to break my heart and put it back together again.

You're the best listener that I've ever met, you still held your breath and the door for me, thanks for your patience.

:)

Case closed.

Ineffable

It has come to this. For the past weeks I felt like my mind's a whirlwind of thoughts. I'm very much caught up with my academics, my org friends, my block friends, my friends outside the block and of course, me thinking about being in a relationship.

Let me tell you this, I am a very emotional person. I get affected easily. Just this weekend I shed some tears over that The Rock movie where he was a football player who didn't not know he had a kid. I am very mababaw, some of you know how I cried over 27 Dresses. You should really get chick flicks or family movies away from me if you don't want me to cry and hug a pillow or tell you "I love you" or something. Also, I almost cried when we visited our new area for Tugon for the first time yesterday. I still want to cry now just thinking about it. Even though I have been a member of Tugon since first year and I have interacted with abandoned/abused children every week, I still could not stop myself from asking why the hell those beautiful angels were left by their parents. The area visit was particularly hard for me because we can't play with the babies and kids just yet, so when the babies reach out, as much as we want to carry them and make them feel safe, we can't. I'm so excited to go back and be able to hug them.

I am digressing but you get the point. I'm emotional. Also, I like hugs and hugging.

At this point I don't know where this is going.

I just am confused in general. Maybe I have so many things to do, so many friends I would like to hang out with, so many feelings to feel and so little time (Yes, the cliche, it's eww actually). And sometimes, I feel like I am not thinking about what I am doing or my mind's off somewhere or someone. One thing I have learned from Fr. David at this point in the semester is that we don't progress because we don't think about what we do, meaning we don't attend or give our full attention on what we are currently doing. I preacher once said that, "we are where we are because we should be just where we are". There is a reason why we are in some place, with certain people and we should be there. But I have been finding myself thinking of different people and places while being somewhere and with some people.

At this point, I'm just letting things out. I have no thesis statement here.

Nowadays, I always thank God because he gave me many new choices and many new friends. But then, new friends means less time for old friends. And I am very emotional and I miss.

God also gave me many choices on who to like but I am very sad that no one has chosen me or at least reveal the intent to choose me in some way. Oh yeeeeaaahhh. Pokemons, lucky them.

Haay.

And because of this, I want to drink this week.


"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.", Closing Time -Semisonic

I believe I am in the middle of an end and a beginning has yet to make me happy.

Translation (I did not want to sound desperate but here it goes): "Someone please ask me out."

I feel this is a selfish thing but oh well, I'm tired of being selfless.


+ Leng